Life isn’t a matter of milestones, but of moments.
It is imperative that we cherish every moment.. Especially those spent with our family and loved ones. Because moments become memories that stay with us forever
It’s been more than three months that papa lost his mobility and has been bedridden. It is so very painful to see you father go through this…. He is also unable to share his pain with us mostly due to vascular dementia….as he himself is not aware of what he is going through. As a family all that we can do is make him feel the least of discomfort.. And we are doing our best
Never had I imagined that I would see papa like this… Though not an extremely active man since a few years as his hip bone issue troubled him …. But he used love being in the kitchen, helping mom with daily chores , playing the harmonica, singing and yes watching almost everything on television. He started losing interest in all these activities slowly. Vascular Dementia overpowered him.
Even then, he tried his best to do his daily chores.. But soon he began to forget how to perform them too. From shaving, to cutting his nails and even chewing his food. January 24th this year, my mom called me frantically that dad is unable to walk or stand up even. Since my parents were in Bhiwadi and I in Gurgaon, I immediately rushed to meet dad’s doctor in Gurgaon. He suggested a few medicines and some blood tests. My daughter and I drove to Bhiwadi post that…. We reached there in about an hours time…. It must have been around 2 in the afternoon. I very clearly remember the sight as mom opened the door. Papa was sitting on the drawing room floor unable to get up on a cold winter afternoon. Mom had been trying to pick him since some time but in vain.She had already called for the Care home staff for help and was waiting for them to arrive.Simrann I rushed to pick him up .. But were unable to do so either as he was in a lot of pain. Thankfully, help arrived soon and the care home. Personnel was able to pick him as he was trained to do so.. We all were in tears by the time he arrived as we were feeling so helpless. We got his tests done in the evening and decided to bring him to the hospital on the 26th Jan after the reports came in on 25th evening. By then his speech had become slurry and he stopped eating. However on 26th morning we made him sit on the wheel chair, have his breakfast… After which he went into sleep at 10.30 am. .. On the wheel chair only. At around 12 noon we decided to wake him up as it was time to go to the hospital in Gurgaon. He was in deep sleep.. Tried for some time to wake him up.. But did not succeed… It was quite a task to wheel him to the ground floor and then make him sit in the car as he slept. Thanks to the care home staff of Ashiana Utsav again who helped in the same .
We got papa to Max Gurgaon in an hours time and rest is history…. Little did we know that our lives would be changing forever and we would be facing the toughest days. From being in the ICU for a week, to the docs talking to us to be prepared for the worst and making us sign the no ventilator form….. He was moved to the room after a week, still critical as there was a possibility of him getting the infection again due a prolonged ICU stay . 22 days in the hospital and then the docs suggested we take him home when he became a bit stable . We were also told that his condition would not improve as his brain function was only at around 20% now due vascular dementia , which would deteriorate with time
Papa has been home since 17th Feb… Not his home in Bhiwadi, but his daughter’s. I know that he never used to like staying here due to some unpleasant memories . But now he doesn’t remember much… Though at times he does … That is when he gets very angry and wants to bash the person responsible for the bad memories. But I calm him down by saying that God will handle it all…. He does listen for while… and then forgets it all
The hospital bed, is his permanent bed now…. He doesn’t watch TV anymore.. Listens to old Bollywood numbers at times on Caravan .. But has stopped singing…. I do sing to him at times…. Thinking he would sing with me again some day…. But I am glad that we are here together as a family and trying to face it all with a smile…. Cherishing each and every moment
Love and light to all and thank you to all those who have supported and helped us